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If I could share one thing with
you today it would be...
That "Letting Go" is always the
hardest part.
While I hope that 2011 brought
you many moments of happiness, and that your hearts desires were
granted, I know that we all have faced moments of pain in 2011.
And while we must all continue to face pain and difficulties in
this life, we do not have to hold on to them and
carry them into the new year, we can choose to
Let Go.
The best way to begin the New
Year, is by making peace with our past and letting go of the
pain and sadness, leaving them in the past where they belong.
I hope that before the New Year
begins, we all realize that it is possible to heal from the pain,
worries, fears and hardships that weigh us down and limit us
from living in the present. I hope that every person reading
this will choose to move forward and be able to resolve those
difficult situations, to find closure to the problems of the
past. I hope we can all find a way to heal, forgive and
Let Go.
In writing this, I've thought
about my own situations, and looked for areas where I had not
let go. I also read as much as I could find about why it is so
difficult for people to let go of pain and of the past. I discussed with
others, what they found to be difficult situations that they had
not let go of, or struggled to let go of, and this is what I
found.
We are emotional creatures, male
and female alike, we act and react according to emotion, to
feelings. We say, do and base our thoughts according to what and
how we feel about things, situations, other people and
ourselves. Although females are, for the most part, more
emotional than males, every single individual is unique. Many
times we play out "life" in our minds way before it happens in
reality. We make things harder than they have to be, we view
things worse than they really are. We become afraid to say what
we want to say or do what we want to do, because in our minds,
we have already concluded what has not even taken place, fear
sets in, and we become afraid to resolve and help healing
happen. What we fail to understand, is that feelings change,
feelings are fleeting. Feelings are not what we should base all
of our decisions on, feelings are only part of the bigger
picture. When we decide to do the right thing, say what is based
on truth, admit what may be difficult to face, our thoughts will
be based on reality and truth, and our feelings will be
influenced to follow accordingly.
While the mind seems to view
according to our levels of ego and pride, the heart weighs
according to compassion, forgiveness, love and understanding.
Our genetic makeup, learned behaviors and thoughts, upbringing
and external matters, just to name a few, have much to do with
our own reasons for who and how we individually are, act, react
and interact. Ironically, many people view pride as strength and
forgiveness as weakness, when in reality, it is very much the
other way around. It takes much strength to forgive. Forgiveness
heals the person wronged, it allows for friendships and
relationships to continue. Forgiveness allows us to move
forward, living and enjoying the experience of the present.
Pride holds a person captive, it keeps them insecure, it fools
them into believing that being right is more rewarding than
being happy and at peace. Pride holds on to the wrong and it
becomes underlying stress, harming the body and the mind.
Pride and unresolved pain keep us in the past.
In every painful situation, there
is usually a degree of grief that must be processed. The normal
grief cycle consists of:
1. Shock - initial paralysis at
hearing the bad news
2. Denial - trying to avoid the
inevitable
3. Anger - frustrated outpouring
of bottled-up emotion
4. Bargaining - seeking in vain
for a way out
5. Depression - final realization
of the inevitable
6. Testing - seeking realistic
solutions
7. Acceptance - finally finding
the way forward
If we get stuck in any one
or more of these stages, we will continue to face difficulty, we
continue to hold on to our problem. Until we
completely and successfully pass through each stage and complete
the cycle are we able to move forward without holding on to any
part of the painful situation.
It is possible to heal from pain
without involving the person who hurt us, writing a letter is
usually suggested for this. We can forgive some ones offenses
against us without them being present or a part of our lives.
Sometimes it is necessary to keep people at arms length,
especially where safety is involved. Keeping people at arms
length for the sake of hurting their feelings is not part of the
healing process, but would instead fall under pride and ego
mentality.
Remember that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, to
heal, move forward and embrace happiness.
The most important and
impressive part to all of this, in my opinion, is that Choice
can change pride to humility. Choice can change hatred to love.
Choice can change anger to peace. Every person in this world,
has the ability to CHOOSE. It is true that the longer we hold on
to our pain, the harder it becomes to let it go, but the
willingness and choice to heal, bring with them good health for
our minds and bodies and lives.
It is never too late to
CHOOSE to Forgive.
It is never too late to CHOOSE to
move forward.
It is never too late to CHOOSE to
Let Go.
May your New Year be filled with
the strength to Forgive, Love and Let Go..♥
( Photograpy: Rio Chanae )
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"As
a baby around two to four months old, [she was] cooing
and watching my mouth in attempts to repeat my words, as
all babies do during that normal stage in development.
She made all the normal baby noises and played, laughed,
and looked at people right in the eyes... In 2001, at
the age of two, Selena stopped responding to her
name..."
